


To each is not his own fry

by ThatWALKERKid



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, MSR, No Plot/Plotless, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22316815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWALKERKid/pseuds/ThatWALKERKid
Summary: Scully always eats all of Mulder’s fries.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	To each is not his own fry

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably one of the worst things I’ve ever written but im gonna go with it. No plot what so ever other than Scully eating Mulder’s fries. He ain’t mad though.
> 
> Also Boulder Colorado was just a name of a place I’ve heard recently and thought why not use it. No offence intended here.. it’s probably a nice place! 
> 
> All the vibes. 
> 
> Mel xx (@theQueerwriter)

* * *

They sat in a booth at the back of the diner, not wanting to draw any further attention to themselves than their suits and briefcases already had. Mulder had shucked off his jacket and was in the process of rolling up his sleeves, mumbling, annoyed at the turn of events of the case. Scully slid in all the way over to the other side of the booth to rest her body against the wall. She too was unhappy with this case, albeit for different reasons than mulder.

They had arrived in Boulder Colorado three day’s earlier on one of Mulder’s whims. He had an X-File but no official case was open and to Scully that had always spelled trouble; and it had been from the start. Having pissed the local authorities off, broken a few tiny laws and had their “case” debunked after almost getting shot in a war re-enactment, Scully was annoyed they’d wasted their time and she’d given up living like a human for three days with no pay off; crappy motels, cheap coffee and bad food was just not it.

At that moment a waitress came over, disinterested in any form of customer service for the two people in the diner she knew didn’t belong. 

“ _What can I get ya?”_

Scully hadn’t even looked at the menu on the table in front of her and mulder was still trying to decide, but quickly made up his mind when the waitress began tapping her pen against her note pad. 

“ _Oh ummm, I’ll get the double hamburger with fries and a root beer.. Scully you want anything?”_

He looked over at her, handing the menu to the still waiting, unimpressed waitress. She really didn’t feel like eating, not here anyway, if the state of the booth counter top and floor was anything to go by. She shook her head. 

“ _No food thanks... just a Diet Coke_.”

Without another word the waitress moved off to put their order through and Scully couldn’t help but wonder what other worldly things had happened to that woman to make her so fed up with her existence, she could barely give a damn; she then thought about what they’d been through just visiting here and began to consider that living here was probably a thousand times more trying.

She must have zoned out and hadn’t realised that Mulder had asked her something until his hand slid over her arm across the table. 

“ _Scully_?”

She blinked hard and her vision focused on his face, a smirk playing on his lips.

“ _what_?..” it was harsher than she’d meant it to be, a pang of guilt biting at her stomach. “ _I’m sorry Mulder... what were you saying?”_

His hand slid off her arm, retreating back across the table. The loss of contact leaving her a little empty. She hadn’t meant to snap at him. 

_ “I was saying... you might wanna be careful without how long you were staring at that waitress, people might get the wrong idea and start talking.” _

Scully frisbee and realised she must have drifted off just as she was walking away and Mulder was trying to break their crappy case tension. She smiled at him as he laughed, the sound smooth and welcome in her ears.

_“I was lost in thought about getting out of this place_.” 

His smile fell slightly, guilt washing over his features, his hands fiddling absentmindedly with a sachet of salt he’d found on the table. 

“ _I’m sorry Scully. I know the past few days haven’t been the best. I really did think there was something here... and there probably is, we just didn’t find it this time.”_

Scully shifted forward to lean her elbows on the table, to have a proper conversation with him. 

“ _Mulder, you can’t honestly tell me you believe that something is lurking around Boulder Colorado, killing and eating people’s brains after what we’ve been through.”_

The waitress reappeared with their ordered drinks and told Mulder it wouldn’t be too much longer on his burger and fries, before trudging away to help some other poor customer she neither had the time or energy for.

“ _An un- Dead Scully... you saw the photos and the skeletal remains of that body... it had teeth marks on its skull.”_

Zombies. Mulder was really going on about Zombies. Scully had indeed seen the photos in the file Mulder had ceremoniously handed to her in the car on the drive from the airport, and she’d examined the bones that appeared to be damaged by teeth of some description.

“ _All of those things can be scientifically quantified Mulder. Whoever had attacked that poor man, had beaten him with a metal pipe, crushing part of his skull and the body was found by hikers weeks later, so any animal could have scavenged off it. There is no such thing as the un-dead.”_

He pouted at her like a child being told he couldn’t have something he wanted. It almost made her laugh, how adorable he’d looked in the crappy lighting of the diner. 

“ _But Scully human saliva and stomach acids were found near the body..”_

Speaking of stomach acids and saliva Scully thought as the waitress finally brought Mulder his meal. He’d shifted over to the wall of the booth as well, so they were directly across from each other; condiments and the table the only barrier between them. As soon as the pate hit the table top, Scully’s hand shot out and grabbed a fry. Mulder hid his smirk behind his root beer as he took a swig; she always did this. He let it slide though as she shoved the end into her mouth and he could see the tension in her shoulders begin to dissipate; continuing her rebuttal to his argument.

“ _Someone could have thrown up there Mulder... like the hiker who’d found the body..”_

He narrowed his eyes as he picked up his burger; more fries disappearing from his plate.

“ _Nope! I asked around. No one lost their lunch out there Scully. Your point is moot.”_

He took a bite of his burger and she took a sip out of her Diet Coke; both gearing up for the battle ahead, one they’d gone into numerous times. Scully came up prepared first, partly because the food in his moth was so good he wanted to savour it, and also because, even though she was disagreeing with him, he liked it when Scully passionately devolved into her academy teacher self.

“ _People lie Mulder, we know that first hand. The data is there. Why would anyone want to admit to throwing up at a crime scene? And more so back to your earlier point, if there was an “un-dead” being walking around, how come in the three day’s we’ve been here, we haven’t seen any signs of anything remotely resembling that?”_

Okay he had to give her that point. He was a few bites into his burger, mouth half full but he wasn’t going to concede that easily. He put his burger down as a few more fries made it over to Scully’s side of the table. 

“ _Well Ericson didn’t look too fresh last time we saw him._ ”

Scully laughed then, half munched on fries in her fingers. Yes, the local detective Steve Ericson did indeed seem a little green when they’d accidentally stumbled onto the battle ground of a war re-enactment and he’d fired his service weapon at them in response to the blank musket fire going off around them. She popped the remnants of the fries into her mouth before replying. 

“ _Mortified. Not un-dead. Just admit it Mulder, this case was a bust and you want to get out of this place just as much as I do.”_

Mulder licked his fingers as the last of his meal made its way into his mouth, contemplating her words. He looked down to his plate and sighed; three lonely, sad looking fries graced his plate. A smile pulled at his lips.

“ _You know what Scully there is an X-File here and that’s how YOU manage to eat all my fries every time we get food.”_

She looked down as he gestured to his very near empty plate, a sheepish look in her eyes. She had indeed eaten all his fries while they had debated but she was not going to concede that fact. 

“ _Technically, I haven’t eaten them all, there is still three right there.”_

Mulder took a big swig of his root beet to wash down the grease of the burger burdening his tongue.

“ _That’s splitting hairs Scully. You ate all my fries... you do every time. I ask if you want something, you say no. I order, food arrives, with fries, I go to eat them, poof no fries. That’s facts.”_

Scully smiled him knowing he wasn’t really upset with her. 

“ _The “facts” are that fries are still on your plate. Ergo I haven’t eaten them all. Visual physical evidence.”_

Mulder wiped his mouth with a napkin and threw its scrunched up remains onto the other side of the plate to his three solitary fries. He eyed her humorously.

_ “Okay then doc. I’ll concede that there was no case here if you acknowledge that this time, like every other time, you’ve eaten all my fries.” _

Scully considered this. It would be an easy win for her to accept but what would that mean for future dry stealing? Would he order her some of her own? Would the feeling she got from eating with him change, like somehow the food on his plate was better and having her own would leave her with a sense of loss? She enjoyed these times with him and knowing he wasn’t truly upset with her won her over. 

She picked up the last of the fries and shoved them into her mouth dramatically. 

“ _FINE!.. I ate all your damn fries.”_


End file.
